Watch It!
by JamesTheGreater
Summary: Sam and Freddie try to watch TV. At the same time. T for language.


**I don't own iCarly.**

**I want to apologize for not updating sooner on my other stories and for not replying to my reviewer. I will try my hardest to get back on top of things. It's just that a lot of problems came up. I was sick for a couple days. Then school projects were assigned. Then when I tried to write, the flow and plot of "My Mistake" got screwed up. **

**But everythings getting better now so expect an update sometime this week. (I didn't want to use a chapter as an author's note so I wrote this story.) **

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After a week of intense testing, all three members of the iCarly team were lounging on the Shays' couch.

They were looking forward to a nice, relaxing, and peaceful Friday night in front of the TV.

And it would have been.

Had not the _Girly Cow_ marathon been in the same time slot as the _Galaxy Wars _trilogy.

Freddie was sitting closest to the door due to numerous lessons in quickly escaping from a certain aggressive blonde. He was currently captivated by the sight of a battle with enough explosions to even make Michael Bay a little jumpy. There were no movies that matched the mind boggling, adrenaline rushing, action packing, robot shooting, force using, butt cramping, and eye melting awesomeness that was the _Galaxy Wars_ trilogy. Freddie worshipped the director, Jorge Lukas. He even had a shrine of the man in his closet. Needless to say, watching his favorite series was a perfect way to end finals week.

Carly was half asleep on the other end of the couch. It was only 7:00, but studying had drained her battery. Her eye lids were drooping lower every second. But every other second she pulled her eyelids back up, determined to stay awake to enjoy the evening with her friends.

The last friend was rummaging through the refrigerator, furiously searching for the meat she craved so much. Sam got worried as she delved deeper into Narnia. There was still no ham. But then she remembered the meat that Carly had stashed in the bottom drawer in case of a hamergency. Happily gnawing on the emergenham, Sam returned to the couch. She plopped down in the middle of her two buddies causing Carly jump and Freddie to do absolutely nothing.

She finished the ham and carefully threw the bone on the floor. She glanced over at Carly who had now fallen asleep. Sam sighed.

_Poor kid. Couldn't handle the stress._

A loud explosion brought her gaze to the television.

That's when the trouble started.

"What the hell are you watching?"

There was no response from the entranced boy. His eyes stayed glued to the magic screen.

Sam, who didn't like to be ignored, calmly grabbed the remote and slapped it against Freddie's cheek.

He reached up and absentmindedly rubbed the stinging welt.

"Ouch," he said in an emotionless voice.

Sam stared incredulously._ The boy has the balls to disregard __**me**__? Well, we'll have to fix that._

She whistled nonchanlantly as she made her way around the end of the couch. Standing behind Freddie, she proceeded to subject him to her patented "Puckett Lock".

Sam smirked. _Try watching TV when your neck is bent at a 90 degree angle._

Freddie grunted and to Sam's amazement, he straightened his neck and resumed his vigil.

"Whoa, when d'you get muscles, nub?"

And once again, no response.

"ARGH! I'm tired of this. Time to take out the big guns."

Sam picked up the remote and changed the channel.

"Oh, look, the _Girly Cow_ marathon is on."

It took a couple seconds before Freddie realized that he wasn't watching a sci-fi masterpiece but rather an animated comedy centered on an overly feminine bovine.

"Hey, I was watching that!"

Sam sneered. "Yeah? Well too bad, doofus. I don't watch nub flicks."

"Well, _I_ do." Freddie instantly regretted saying those words when he saw Sam's malicious grin.

"Well, obviously because you're a raging nub."

Freddie let out an exasperated groan. "Look, you can't just sit down and change the channel whenever you want. There are other people watching too." And with that, Freddie wrenched the remote out of Sam's hands. He pressed the "previous channel" button and was sucked back into the movie.

Sam angrily punched Freddie in the arm and took back the remote.

"No one takes Mama's remote."

Freddie scowled. "It's not even your remote! It's Spencer and Carly's."

She smirked. "Fine then. I'll ask Carly."

Sam turned to the sleeping brunette. "Hey, Carly, can I have this remote?"

Carly answered with a prolonged snore.

"See? Carly said yes."

"No, that was just a snore. She didn't say squat!"

Sam shook her head sadly. "It's not my fault if you don't understand our language, Fredhole."

"Secret language? How can you learn another language? You're not even passing English."

"I happen to have a C-, Phlegmward. And we **do** have a secret language."

"Bullshit, Sam, pure, unfiltered, unabridged bullshit."

"Your head is full of bullshit."

"Hey at least it's full of something."

"I'd rather have an empty head than one that looks like yours, I mean, you get fed through a meat grinder or what?"

"You're one to talk. You look like you need more beauty sleep than Rip van Winkle. Your face is more disgusting than Carly's lemonade."

Sam jumped up and waved her fist.

"You better watch yourself, boy. You wouldn't want your crazy-ass mom to come over here and find a bloody corpse on the ground."

Freddie snorted. "_My_ mom?!" At least my mom didn't do 5-10 for assaulting a clown."

"That clown was asking for it, alright? Besides, at least my mom doesn't tie my shoelaces for me."

"My back was hurting that whole week. I couldn't bend over," Freddie protested.

"Mm hm, yeah, sure," came the sarcastic reply, "this had nothing to do with the fact that you have no hand eye coordination what-so-ever."

"I happen to have perfect hand eye coordination. I can solve a Goobix Cube in fifteen seconds."

Sam saw an opportunity, thinking that Freddie would never respond to something so embarassing. "Well, maybe they should attach those to the back of bras. You certainly have trouble undoing those."

Freddie not only responded, he plunged the conversation into the realm of inevitable pain.

"I didn't have trouble undoing yours."

Freddie slapped his hand over his mouth. He really needed to think before he said things.

Sam narrowed her eyes.

"What did you say?"

Freddie shook his head fearfully.

"N-nothing. Nothing at all."

She took a step forward.

"I'm pretty sure you said something. Something that we agreed to never mention ever again."

Freddie took a step back.

"I-I'm sorry."

She took another step forward and pointed a delicate finger at the girl still dozing on the couch.

"What if she had been awake?"

Freddie took another step back.

"Well, she's not."

She took four steps forward.

"I'm tired of you running your big mouth."

Freddie took a step back and felt the wood of the door against his back.

Sam smirked. _Cornered._

"W-what are you g-going to do to me?"

Their faces were within inches of each other.

"I'm going to do this."

She punched him in the stomach.

He doubled over in pain.

"Goddamn it, Sam! You're horrible, you know that? I don't even know why I put up with you."

"You know you love me," Sam said as she flopped back on the couch.

Freddie straightened, wincing at the dull ache in his abdomen. "Nyeah."

She stuck her tongue at him. "Nyeeeeah."

He gingerly reclined on the seat, making sure to keep at least 12 inches away from the dragon.

"Nyeeeeeeeeeeeah."

"Nyeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeah."

"Nyeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeah."

Sam glared. "!"

Carly coughed. Both teens looked fearfully at their sleeping comrade, fully aware that tired Carly equaled scary Carly.

"Fine, you win," Freddie whispered. "I had enough of this stupid game. Watch whatever the hell you want."

He crossed his arms in a huff and frowned at the world. He started to try to burn a hole in the TV set with his glare.

A couple minutes later, a heavy weight fell on his shoulder and the sound of loud breathing entered his ear. He looked down and realized Sam had fallen asleep.

Freddie rolled his eyes.

"God, Sam. You argue for the TV then you fall asleep right after?"

Sam snorted.

He chuckled. (Maybe they did have a secret language.)

"You're impossible. Did you know that?"

Freddie was surprised when he heard a sleepy Sam reply.

"That's how I roll."

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**Not much happened but I hope this will hold off any hatred towards me at my negligence.**

**On another note, I was re-interested by the Harry Potter fandom. I used to read A LOT of HP fics, but I sorta stopped. **

**If anyone wants to know, I'm a Harry/Luna shipper. I am partial towards the idea of a nice brunette boy with a bizarre blonde.**

**I would appreciate it if you leave your Harry Potter ship preference in your review. If you read HP that is. **

**Please review. :) **


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